I’m not sure if it’s because I’m over men in general, or if I’m just completely numb from my break-up with Hank. Everything about dating and men…people, really. So over it.
I recently went on seven dates with a guy, which is six more than I usually go on, so I feel like I’m improving.
Enter, Nick, after my sabbatical from online dating and solely focusing on loving myself; which included a job change and learning that my ex had been cheating on me, I decided it was time to see what was out there; slim Pickens, people, slim Pickens.
Anyhooter, I met Nick on a Sunday afternoon at Spyhouse Coffee in Northeast. I arrived late, because at this point, I just don’t care anymore. Spyhouse was so annoyingly crowded, we walked on over to a brewery and then I learned all about Nick. He is tall, 6’6 tall…so, I had the tall piece covered. He was a medic in the Marines, works at the VA…lives in Minneapolis, has good man hands. Whatever, I figured I’d entertain the idea of more dates, he made me laugh so why not? So, we went on more dates, had more conversations and more laughs.
Then, we went to brunch one Sunday in Kenwood, (where I basically grew up) and as I was driving I spotted this attractive fellow walking, and I as I stared I said out loud “is that Da..Holy shit! It’s Dan”! I almost crashed into Burch Steakhouse as I was staring at him.
I met Nick for Brunch and it was nice, but I was thinking about Dan. I dated Dan about four years ago, and man, did I
love like him. He was so unique and so genuine. Then there’s me, Ms. Neurotic, “you don’t text me enough, so this isn’t going to work…” and, yep, I ended things because I was a needy ass hole. A few days after almost killing Dan, I ended up finding him on Instagram and I messaged him (what? I have stalker like tendencies) We went out a few days later…more on Dan in a bit; have to finish up with Nick.
Nick ended up coming over one night. He smelled like a vodka distillery, but whatever, people go and have drinks on the weekend; I sit at home and watch re-runs of Friends – no judgement. I rented a movie and asked Nick if he wanted something to drink; he said whiskey. I was all…ummmm but you smell like booze already. Whatever. I poured him a finger pour of Knob Creek and then I was excited to watch my terrible action movie with my dog…and Nick. Then what did Nick proceed to do? TALK!! Oh, Nick…my poor, sweet soul. Never, EVER talk during a movie. What are Jess’ biggest pet peeves you ask? Loud chewers and movie talkers. I digress..I wanted to find the sharpest object and stab it repeatedly in my eye. I bit my tongue and just said, “hey! Look! a movie!” THEN Nick wanted to make out…which fine…but he kissed like a lizard and I just can’t. It was all too much.
Then he passed out…yes, HE PASSED THE FUCK OUT, and since he ruined the movie, I put on Friends and did some online shopping. I kicked his ass out when he asked “who are you texting” Bitch, why are you passing out and having night sweats in my bed! I’m texting the only thing that never lets me down, Nordstrom.
Nick and I were supposed to go to brunch the next day; that didn’t happen. I also have not talked to him since. I can’t do it. All I picture is a lizard.
Dan…loud sigh…he’s still that same unique man I remember. We went to this hidden gem of Japanese Whiskey Bar called Gori Gori Peku. The lighting was dim, we were the only two in the quaint little space, and there were about twenty Japanese Whiskeys just staring at us all sexy like. It was wonderful. After a few cocktails we decided to go get food at Red Rabbit, which was excellent. Dan and I always have a really good time when we’re out because we have the same interests. In my head I just wanted to grab his buns and say “be mine, forever!!!” But I didn’t want to come off too strong. Dan and I haven’t gone out since. Schedules haven’t aligned and, again, I just don’t really care, so we shall see what happens.
And now…well, let’s see…my Friday night consisted of sitting in traffic, coming home, crawling into bed with my dog, and looking at memes.
My Saturday has now consisted of going to get my nails done, working, and now binge watching Schitts Creek…with my dog…in bed.
And, you know what? I’m completely happy; sometimes I miss having a hug from a man, but I’d rather just hug my dog, it comes with less bull shit.