I had dinner tonight with an old girlfriend; someone I didn’t think I would ever see again. It was so good to see her. I met her at yoga teacher training almost four years ago. I miss yoga. Fucking headaches.
The thing I am understanding about friendships right now is that they are more meaningful than ever before; the conversations I am having mean more, the laughter I am experiencing is meaning more, because not only was the break-up with Jake a traumatic experience, I also had brain surgery and as much as I want to admit that it didn’t have an important role in my break-up, it did. It was a seismic event that shook me and my families belief in a just world; robbing us of a world that is controllable and predictable. I need to understand that at any given moment my life can change and I need to experience ALL this life has to offer.
- I need to learn to accept that being alone is okay. There are many successful women who find great joy in not having a man (They’re probably so joyful because they don’t have a man…amiright?).
- I get asked all the time “what are you passionate about?” and I cannot answer that question. I smile and say “dogs.” This break-up from Jake, while heart-breakingly painful, will give me the chance to really reflect on all things Jess. It’s going to allow me to be selfish and to do whatever the hell I want.
My heart is slowly starting to heal and it isn’t because of some man; it’s because of my girlfriends like Christen and Laura, who prove to me that women are resilient, and we find joy and happiness in our own outlets, we just have to know where to look.